and now spring is here!

I don't know about you, but I am LOVING the gorgeous weather we've had the last 2 days! What a great way to usher in Spring, especially after the ridiculous February that we had! It is amazing how much better your body & soul can feel after just a few moments in warm weather and sunshine. Mike asked - as he does every year when it first gets nice - why are we living in PA, and not someplace where it is like this all of the time???? I don't know!

The only downside to all of this...I can't sit in my yard and enjoy the weather. Why? Well, I never got to "winterizing" my plants and other yard paraphernalia nor did the leaves/debris get raked last fall, and with the destructive snow this winter, the yard is an absolute mess. I have a hard time just walking through there without wanting to clean it all up! Physically, I don't know how much I would be able to do right now, but if it's nice tomorrow, I might try working on it a bit. Call it nesting or what have you, but it needs done!! :)

Anyway, I am glad that Spring is here, the long winter is over, daffodils are blooming, and Baby is soon here!

Speaking of Baby...guess I grow them big! At my 36 week appt., I measured 39 weeks. So, Marilyn, my midwife, ordered an ultrasound to check size of Baby, amniotic fluid levels, etc. At 37 weeks, I had that u/s. According to the estimates, Baby was 9lbs. at that time! I had an appt. with Dr. Yingling right after, and he was the one who brought up the possibility of having a c-section because of the size. He also ordered another glucose test and u/s for this past week. I don't know what would've happened if I had failed the glucose test this time around - I mean, the kid is already big! - but I wasn't even close. My u/s actually was scheduled for tomorrow, but after coming home from work early on Thurs., I called and was able to get one done that afternoon. Baby had grown 6 oz. in that week! Of course, there is a +/- 1lb with those estimates...

Before I continue, I need to explain the type of prenatal care that we chose. It's called Centering Pregnancy. Basically, it's group prenatal care. In our group, there are 8 other women (7 couples, 1 high school girl) who are due from April 1 (me) to the end of May. (Not only am I having the first baby, I am also the oldest in the group. *sigh*). When we arrive and for about the first hour, we take our own blood pressure (well, I have Stephanie, the nurse put the cuff on me), weigh ourselves (and I've been honest!) and test our urine sample. Marilyn also takes this time to meet with each of us individually and we also read over the night's discussion points. Once everyone has met with Marilyn, we discuss whatever is on the agenda for the evening. We've also spent an evening touring the hospital, another with a physical therapist on prenatal pilates, another with a lactation consultant, one night we watched birth videos (that was amusing), discussed birth control, etc. At the first couple of meetings, it felt a bit weird to discuss things with the men also in the room, but then I saw the benefit: they could see that their partners were not the only crazy pregnant women. Plus, a few of them are very funny and keep the mood light!

So, Thurs. night was this class. I had in my head to beg and plead to Marilyn to let me deliver early this coming week, so when she told me absolutely no way will they schedule a c/s before 39 weeks (Thurs), I was not able to keep the disappointment off of my face. She also told me that Baby is really still small enough that I could still opt for a vaginal delivery, but if I go past 40 weeks, it will be a c/s (they will not induce me for malpractice reasons). She also had to tell us the risks to me & Baby with either method of delivery, which was sobering (even though I already knew most of them from doing my own research). Marilyn also brought up another point: because I have had such problems with my legs/nerves for most of this pregnancy, she said that vaginal delivery might actually be harder for me. I have difficulty walking as it is, and with the legs going the way they need to go...I had never thought about that aspect, so I was glad she brought that up.

She then asked if it would be okay if we were the topic of discussion that evening as she realized that she had never planned to discuss c/s. I had no problems with it, considering everyone in the room already knew what was going on with us from our time chatting earlier. All I can say is that any doubts I might still have had about choosing Centering as my prenatal care disappeared that evening. It was so nice to discuss the pros/cons with 7 other first-time moms and with Marilyn. Everyone was completely supportive and there were also bittersweet emotions, once they realized that no matter what, we will not be at the last few sessions. And it wasn't just me who made friends - Mike did, too. In fact, us and 2 other couples were the last ones to leave - and it was the WOMEN who were telling the husbands to quit talking so that we could go home! :)

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appt. with Dr. Tedeschi at which time I am planning on giving my decision to go with elective c/s. I hope to schedule it for Thurs. a.m. (Marilyn will even be able to stop by if I deliver in the a.m.!), but I guess there is no guarantee that I can in the morning, but I hope that it is at least on Thursday!

I mentioned earlier that I went home early on Thursday. Basically, it was because of my legs, my right leg in particular. That is the leg that I have had femoral nerve pain since 11 weeks. I did have P/T the month of Dec. which did help greatly. The pain has been minor since then. Until this week, probably because I could tell when I woke up on Monday that Baby had dropped which is putting even more pressure down there. Anyway, when I woke up on Thurs., I had a very hard time walking or even standing because my leg felt like it was on fire. On top of that, it also felt like someone had yanked my leg out to the side, the way that muscle hurt. My left leg has also started going numb, but thankfully, at this point it is just numb and doesn't really hurt. But, it is a very strange sensation to not have much feeling in my thighs! I went to work, trying to be the strong woman that I really want to be, but by lunch I was miserable. My dear coworkers gave me permission to not be strong and convinced me to go home.
Friday morning, my leg was a bit better when I woke up, so I decided to go in again. But, I was an emotional mess and had to have a bit of a cry in my room once I arrived. I really did not want to be there! (It hasn't helped that 2 days this week, I've woken up between 4:30-5 and did not fall back to sleep). Mike called me around lunch, we had another discussion about me continuing to work, and we came to the consensus that Friday would be my last day.

I hate to use up any of my limited sick days before Baby is even here, but for my own sanity and well-being, I think that this is the right choice. At the rate I was pushing myself, I was afraid that I would be completely worn out before Baby even arrived! And I felt like all of my focus was just on "surviving" the last weeks of pregnancy that I haven't even really thought about the fact that my child is inside of me. I want this baby, no doubt about it, but I don't really feel like I've been able to get excited about the baby because all of my energy has been channeled elsewhere. Seriously, there are moments where I think friends are more excited than I am. Maybe this is common for new moms who have no idea what to expect, maybe it's just me. Either way, I am looking forward to a few "mental health" days!

My "controlling" nature is also quite glad to know (more-or-less) when this chapter is coming to an end, but now every moment is "this is the last __ " - like, "this is the last lunch after church with our single friends without a baby" or "this is the last lazy Sunday afternoon" or "this is the last Fri. night with friends without a baby." It is very surreal, strange, weird, to think about this, but we are trying to enjoy every "last" moment! :)

Well, I guess this is beyond long enough. If you've made it through this whole post, well, thank you. I suppose it's good that I got all of this recorded somewhere. I really should've done more journaling of some sort throughout my pregnancy, but I'm afraid I wouldn't have been very positive and my child would have had issues later in life if he/she ever read it! :) But, to reward you for sticking with me, check out this cute picture taken on Thursday (3/18)!

I am fairly confident that I will not post again before Baby is here (another "Last"!), so we will meet again after the next chapter of my life as begun!!